第17回：『義理の母の95歳の誕生日 ＆ 米式老後の親との付き合い方？』
第17回の今回は『迷子のフランス製・折り紙ランプと【用の美/建築】とは？ Part2』夏の平安編と題しまして、2025年８月、９月中の『夏のひと時』を中心にお話ししてみたいです。
以下の要領で進めていきます。
今回は中間の3項目についてのお話です。
【8月&9月、泣き笑いの夏・秋】
＊建築家SVさんからの再建案ｘ2案ーーテーマは『風通しの改善』他
＊フランスｘアメリカ間で迷子？ 『折り紙ランプ』の行方、、、
＊義理の母の『95歳の誕生パーティー』に出席
＊アメリカ式『老後の両親との付き合い方』を経験
＊血圧上昇、己の健康に赤信号!! 運動不足と食べ過ぎが原因？
＊妻とのアートセラピー、慣れないダンスのように、、、、（笑）
＊『大屋根＆格子スクリーン』追加で外観デザイン決定!!
＊SVさんから住宅建築の経験談を聞き安堵：【用の美】
【10月&11月、怒涛の出来事】
＊救世主現る!! PLT、公共土地買い上げトラスト（PTO)とは？
＊建築許可用の提出物が『ほぼ』出そろいました。
＊高いアパート家賃の解決策：ガレージ2階の賃貸物件に引っ越す？
＊土壇場で立ちはだかる難題、『オーク（樹木）保護令』とは？
＊樹木の医者【アーボレスト＝樹護士】とは？
＊もう一つの資金源？:南カ・エジソンを相手取った訴訟に参加、、、
＊与えられた:コミュニティーと個人【奇人】主義を考える機会？
＊困難の中にいる友人に私が出来ること、、、？
＊病床の母（名古屋在住）に出来ること、、、、、？
＊義理の母の『95歳の誕生パーティー』に出席
少し時間が戻りますが、
8月初めの週末、妻のお母さん『M』さんの95歳のお誕生日を祝うため、サンルイスオビスポまで出かけました。
今回の誕生日は、『95歳の誕生パーティー』ということもあり、事前に妻とそのお兄さん、お姉さんと一緒に特別な趣向を凝らしたものになりました。
つまりは、
＊結婚75周年の時のように盛大にできるだけ多くの親族、友人、隣人をお招きする。
＊お母さんが最近物忘れが激しく、ゲストに対応できる最後の機会になる可能性が高い事もあり、
＊日本で言うところの「生前葬」的意味合いを込める。
実際のプラン：
＊金曜日の夕食ーーー彼女が大好きなイタリアンレストランで、家族と友人（10人）
＊土曜の午後2時から：ゲスト60人ぐらいのパーティー（お姉さん宅のポーチ&裏庭にて）
＊日曜日のブランチ：近所の『カウガール・カフェ』で（参加可能な家族10人程度）
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3時間以上にわたっての歓談となりました。
私自身も妻のおばさまと大変親しくなり、
今まで全く気付かなかった、
お祈りしております！
＊アメリカ式：『老境の両親との付き合い方』を経験
自宅での臨終を希望されているので、
＊血圧上昇：己の健康に赤信号‼ 運動不足と食べ過ぎが原因？
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前日のホット・ヨガの後疲れが出てしまい、
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大事をとって横になったりしていたのですが、
念のため心臓の検査を受けるように言われました。
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いろいろ不安定な要素が重なって、
徐々に血圧が上昇していたのに気付かなかったようです。
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＊散歩の頻度を上げ15パウンド減量
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翌々日のヨガには十分な睡眠と、
十分な水分をとって挑みました。
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先生が警察の爆発物処理班の大男なのに、
いい感じで試技できまして、終了後の『ヨガハイ』
＊10-15パウンドの体重の減量を
（この際妻から、アメリカでは、鼻血の時「鼻にティッシュを詰める」
結婚25周年の一環として、
妻と受けております
について記しておきたいです。
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Translation in English !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Record of Home Destroyed by Wildfire———Episode 17: ‘Celebrating Mother-in-Law’s 95th Birthday & American-Style Parenting in Retirement?’ Summer Peace Edition
November 18, 2025 / December 2, 2025
Episode 17: ‘My Mother-in-Law’s 95th Birthday & Dealing with Parents in Retirement the American Way?’
This 17th episode, titled ‘The Lost French Origami Lamp & What is [Functional Beauty/Architecture]? Part 2’ Summer Peace Edition, will focus on ‘Moments of Summer’ during August and September 2025.
We’ll proceed as follows.
This time covers the middle three items.
【August & September: A Summer/Autumn of Laughter and Tears】
＊Two reconstruction proposals from Architect SV—Theme: ‘Improving Airflow’ and more
＊Lost between France and America? The fate of the ‘Origami Lamp’…
＊Attending my mother-in-law’s ‘95th Birthday Party’
＊Experiencing the American way of ‘Dealing with Aging Parents’
＊Blood pressure spikes, red flag for my health!! Caused by lack of exercise and overeating?
＊Art therapy with my wife, like awkward dancing… (laugh)
＊Exterior design finalized with additions: ‘Large Roof & Lattice Screen’!!
＊Relieved hearing SV’s home-building experience: [Beauty in Function]
【October & November: A Torrent of Events】
＊A savior appears!! What is PLT, the Public Land Trust (PTO)?
＊Documents for the building permit are ‘almost’ all submitted.
＊Solution for high apartment rent: Move to a rental unit on the second floor of the garage?
＊Last-minute hurdle: What is an ‘Oak Tree Protection Order’?
＊Tree Doctor [Arborist = Tree Nurse]?
＊Another funding source?: Joining a lawsuit against Southern California Edison…
＊Given: An opportunity to consider community vs. individual [eccentric]ism?
＊What can I do for a friend facing hardship…?
＊What can I do for my mother in the hospital (living in Nagoya)……?
＊Attending my mother-in-law’s ‘95th Birthday Party’
Going back a bit in time,
On the weekend at the beginning of August, we traveled to San Luis Obispo to celebrate the 95th birthday of my wife’s mother, ‘M’.
Since this was a “95th Birthday Party,” my wife, her brother, and sister planned something special in advance.
In other words:
＊Invite as many relatives, friends, and neighbors as possible, making it as grand as her 75th wedding anniversary.
＊Given Mom’s recent memory loss, this was likely her last chance to host guests.
* To incorporate the meaning of what in Japan is called a “living funeral.”
Actual Plan:
* Friday dinner——Her favorite Italian restaurant, with family and friends (10 people)
* Saturday from 2 PM: Party for about 60 guests (on her sister’s porch)
* Sunday brunch: At the nearby ‘Cowgirl Cafe’ (about 10 family members able to attend)
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The Saturday party day dawned calm and sunny,
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and the guests surrounding Mom enjoyed lively conversation
for over three hours.
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I myself became very close with my wife’s aunt,
and a new family bond was formed,
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one I had never noticed before. I’m delighted.
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To Ms. M, I pray you enjoy many more happy years together!
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＊American Style: Experiencing ‘How to Relate to Aging Parents’
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Recently, I’ve been thinking about how to interact with my wife’s 95-year-old mother and my 88-year-old mother.
Amidst this, I heard something interesting at work.
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Mr. ‘J’, a Citizen salesman,
helped his mother, who lives in the Midwest, move at the end of July.
He flew and rented a car to get to his mother’s house in Colorado.
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From there, he planned to drive her large truck (a Ford F-150)
for 26 hours (over 3 days) to his sister’s house on the East Coast.
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Since it’s a full-size truck, gas alone will cost nearly $1,000.
He said he’d fly back a week later and left.
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Because the US is so vast, caring for parents becomes a chance for families scattered across the country to unite.
It can be a turning point for estranged siblings to reconcile,
or conversely, a time when irresponsibility is exposed, causing quite a stir…
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Furthermore, people have different wishes regarding their living situation as they approach death.
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By the way, my wife’s mother wishes to pass away at home.
So, my wife’s older sister and her daughter, who is a nurse granddaughter, live about a 10-minute walk away and take turns caring for her. (Plus, they hire a visiting caregiver three days a week.)
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When her sister or granddaughter has commitments,
my wife’s brother (retired) who lives near San Francisco or my wife herself goes to assist.
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*Rising blood pressure: Red flag for my health‼ Caused by lack of exercise and overeating?
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Mid-August, breaking this year’s high temperature record,
I felt exhausted after the previous day’s hot yoga,
and felt unwell from the morning of the following Tuesday.
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By the afternoon, my blood pressure was abnormally high,
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so I lay down to be safe,
but my blood pressure remained elevated.
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In the evening, I went to the emergency room just to be safe.
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By then, my blood pressure had settled down considerably,
so I wasn’t prescribed anything,
but I was told to get a heart checkup just to be safe.
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Looking back, since the disaster caused by the fire,
various unstable factors had accumulated,
and it seems I hadn’t noticed my blood pressure gradually rising.
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＊Direct stress from the disaster and the stress of rebuilding
＊Unstable diet from avoiding cooking
＊Lack of exercise from apartment living
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These are the reasons (my guess) for the blood pressure rise, discovered after talking with my wife.
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＊Don’t push myself to blog writing to the point of stress
＊Cook more often, eat more vegetables, low sugar, low salt, low oil meals
＊Increase walking frequency and lose 15 pounds
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My wife has instructed me to achieve the above goals…
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Admittedly, while saying it was to overcome trauma,
I did tend to become overly obsessed with writing the blog.
If that became the “stress” itself, it would be putting the cart before the horse. lol
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Going forward, I’ll refrain from pushing myself too hard
when writing the blog’s recovery diary section.
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I want to keep pushing forward with the ‘Favorite Car Designs’ section.
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Beyond that,
there’s plenty of material:
‘Top 10 Concept Car Designs’,
‘Top 10 Miniature Car Designs’,
‘Top 10 Magazine Editorial Designs’…
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For yoga two days later, I tackled it with plenty of sleep
and adequate hydration.
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Even though the instructor was a huge guy from the police bomb squad,
as a yogi he was surprisingly gentle,
so I was able to try the poses nicely, and the post-class ‘yoga high’ lasted a long time.
Yesterday, I met with my regular cardiologist,
discussed this sudden spike in blood pressure, listened to his advice,
and was recommended a three-pronged approach: diet, exercise, and medication.
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In essence, I was instructed to:
＊ Continue taking blood-thinning medication,
＊ Further advance a diet low in salt, sugar, and fat while high in fiber,
＊ Slightly increase my exercise volume,
＊ And lose 10-15 pounds.
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Postscript:
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Among these, taking too much anticoagulant (blood thinner) can cause bleeding that won’t stop, or if you bump your elbow or knee, it can lead to severe bruising.
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Once, I had a nosebleed that wouldn’t stop and had to go to the emergency room. lol
(This was when I first learned from my wife that in America, “stuffing tissue up your nose” for a nosebleed is a big no-no.) There’s a common sense rule that when you have a nosebleed, you should pinch the area between your nose and eyes firmly and hold it for a while, and it should stop quickly. When I did that, it stopped immediately, and I was surprised.
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Next time,
as part of our 25th wedding anniversary celebrations,
my wife and I are participating in
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‘Art Therapy’
and I’d like to write about that.
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Though we’re a bit bewildered by this unfamiliar therapy…
Stay tuned――
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Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
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